guilt as inspiration - the pathetic return to blogging

-to those of you who requested it's return, i have already let you down.

i hate looking for jobs. what i really want is my old job back - the one i quit shortly after my last entry more that 6 pathetic months ago - but that is a contract i failed to sign and an unrequited love i've left behind. it was a sweet gig, though i didn't really realize it at the time. i've had my adventure in self-employment and now i just want someone else to pay me for my time and require nothing more than my physical presence in return. i'm looking for the lowest common denominator in english teaching jobs, something so mind-numbingly repetitive that i can do it in my sleep and forget the whole mess the second i walk out the door. yes, i will have to wear a tie for this sort of job, but now i can see it's advantages clearly. the goal is to make enough money to travel, though the specifics of what exactly that entails are unknown at the present time.

it's not that things didn't work out - if i wasn't so fickle and impatient, i could probably see this thing to some reasonable fruition and make a fair bankroll. but the sad fact of the matter is that i'm pretty pathetic when it comes to sticking to my guns. premature decisions when coupled with drastic life change can really restore that vital element of control over one's life. it's a double shot of adrenalin on the rocks - the sweet freedom of youth, the rush of new faces and places, and the euphoria of living in the present moment unhindered by the weight of all one's past and future.

so, i'm looking for a job.. man i hate looking for a jobs.