Monday, November 29, 2004
Back on the bike, now with a mission - get me a thanksgiving dinner 1500 thousand miles from home. Just down the street from my apartment lives a man who just might come through for me. His name is colonel sanders and he's added a secret 11th ingredient to his chicken that has made it more delicious than any other! His fame has spread from the heart of america to every corner of the known universe. Merry thanksgiving!
Friday, November 26, 2004
Mori the impossible
in a uniform society that is obsessed with the latest fashion, it’s not everyday that you come by a girl who keeps it real in her converse shoes and a hooded sweatshirt:
Mori Muri – enter the impossible girl.
“the big daikon” is okayama’s most popular venue for alcohol consumption and "international exchange". it’s populated and packed nightly with every idiot gaijin in town. i had heard a lot about it (from every idiot gaijin in town) and i admit i was curious, but i’m sticking to my story – i was dragged there by a coworker.
when we rolled up around 11pm, the party was well underway. i went up the stairs and was slapped in the senses by red light, cigarette smoke, and a tom jones hip-hop remix. people were yelling and dancing and drunk! an australian man “dressed” like a cat (wearing nothing but his briefs and boots) greeted us. “never met you blokes before, ya’ backpackers?” no, and i’ve never met you either, dude – i would have remembered a naked man with ears and a tail.
i spent about 2 beers scoping stupid people. it was easy – they were everywhere! there was a chubby drunk white girl dancing on the bar inches from a young passed-out japanese. there were 2 japanese women in their 60’s sitting at the bar and playing gaijin grab-ass. but mostly there was a wide assortment of skinny, nerdy, white guys wearing haircuts and frat boy uniforms dating back as far as 1997.
even among the handful of english speakers who shared my situation in okayama, i wasn’t fitting in or having any fun. i went outside to avoid people and feel sorry for myself (my favorite activity when stupid people are having more fun than me). mori must have had the same idea. she was sweat-shirted, sneaker-ed, and balled up on the steps out front. she was drinking a can of vending machine coffee and it clearly wasn’t working in whatever way she hoped it would. i sat down and publicly expressed my disinterest in hanging out with “stupid fucking gaijin.” she laughed out loud (in english, that is. most girls here sort of giggle and cover their mouths) - i had made a friend.
“you are a stupid fucking gaijin, de-sho?!” (aren’t you?)
i denied it flatly, “iie, nihon-jin des.” (no, i’m japanese)
“than you are a stupid fucking japanese! no problem, yo. i am too – i have to fucking work tomorrow.” we talked and laughed. she was absolutely tickled by my use of profanity and my cruel generalizations regarding the okayama gaijin. she struggled to keep up. “you are fucking cool, yo.”
i told her i was leaving and she was coming with me. she tried to tell me she couldn’t, but didn’t know enough english to explain why. so i was able to drag her away from the daikon and her friends and we had a beer at my favorite izakaiya. She updated my phrase book with impolite men’s japanese and “dirty” okayama dialect (the only japanese she uses). i thought she was great.
we took a ride on my bicycle and she chanted “move it, move it!” and reached around me to ring the bell for the duration of the ride. i would have kept her forever, but she insisted i take her back to the daikon and her friends. we traded phone numbers and I she kissed me on the cheek.
now mori’s my new best friend! we’ve been on a few adventures and i hope there will be many more to come!
Mori Muri – enter the impossible girl.
“the big daikon” is okayama’s most popular venue for alcohol consumption and "international exchange". it’s populated and packed nightly with every idiot gaijin in town. i had heard a lot about it (from every idiot gaijin in town) and i admit i was curious, but i’m sticking to my story – i was dragged there by a coworker.
when we rolled up around 11pm, the party was well underway. i went up the stairs and was slapped in the senses by red light, cigarette smoke, and a tom jones hip-hop remix. people were yelling and dancing and drunk! an australian man “dressed” like a cat (wearing nothing but his briefs and boots) greeted us. “never met you blokes before, ya’ backpackers?” no, and i’ve never met you either, dude – i would have remembered a naked man with ears and a tail.
i spent about 2 beers scoping stupid people. it was easy – they were everywhere! there was a chubby drunk white girl dancing on the bar inches from a young passed-out japanese. there were 2 japanese women in their 60’s sitting at the bar and playing gaijin grab-ass. but mostly there was a wide assortment of skinny, nerdy, white guys wearing haircuts and frat boy uniforms dating back as far as 1997.
even among the handful of english speakers who shared my situation in okayama, i wasn’t fitting in or having any fun. i went outside to avoid people and feel sorry for myself (my favorite activity when stupid people are having more fun than me). mori must have had the same idea. she was sweat-shirted, sneaker-ed, and balled up on the steps out front. she was drinking a can of vending machine coffee and it clearly wasn’t working in whatever way she hoped it would. i sat down and publicly expressed my disinterest in hanging out with “stupid fucking gaijin.” she laughed out loud (in english, that is. most girls here sort of giggle and cover their mouths) - i had made a friend.
“you are a stupid fucking gaijin, de-sho?!” (aren’t you?)
i denied it flatly, “iie, nihon-jin des.” (no, i’m japanese)
“than you are a stupid fucking japanese! no problem, yo. i am too – i have to fucking work tomorrow.” we talked and laughed. she was absolutely tickled by my use of profanity and my cruel generalizations regarding the okayama gaijin. she struggled to keep up. “you are fucking cool, yo.”
i told her i was leaving and she was coming with me. she tried to tell me she couldn’t, but didn’t know enough english to explain why. so i was able to drag her away from the daikon and her friends and we had a beer at my favorite izakaiya. She updated my phrase book with impolite men’s japanese and “dirty” okayama dialect (the only japanese she uses). i thought she was great.
we took a ride on my bicycle and she chanted “move it, move it!” and reached around me to ring the bell for the duration of the ride. i would have kept her forever, but she insisted i take her back to the daikon and her friends. we traded phone numbers and I she kissed me on the cheek.
now mori’s my new best friend! we’ve been on a few adventures and i hope there will be many more to come!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
inaka bauken = country adventure!
i woke up at 6:00 and was surprised to find that i had beat the sun up. i packed up my little room and my bag and laced up my hiking boots!
i wandered around the little streets in between the little houses and gardens on the island. i had gone back in time - all of the houses were old and there clearly wasn't a modern sewer system. even walking amongst the houses in town i kept noticing the biggest fucking spiders i'd ever seen just hanging out on their big horrible webs! i was creeped out!
i made my way up and away from the houses to the base of the tallest peak on the island. there was a line of red torii gates covering the trail that wound up the face of what turned out to be a small mountain and a pretty challenging climb. i reached to top in time to see a foggy, but cool sunrise! i hiked from peak to peak that morning and saw some great views of the islands that dot the inland sea. i packed out and ferried back in time for a very long day at work..
i've taken my weekend to catch up on grocery shopping and laundry and things. too much go, go, go. i've fallen behind in my blogging and i'm all adventured out. i'm glad i went before winter really set it though. i'll go back in the summer and i'll try and check out all the other villas.
sunrise from an observation point on shiraishi island:
i wandered around the little streets in between the little houses and gardens on the island. i had gone back in time - all of the houses were old and there clearly wasn't a modern sewer system. even walking amongst the houses in town i kept noticing the biggest fucking spiders i'd ever seen just hanging out on their big horrible webs! i was creeped out!
i made my way up and away from the houses to the base of the tallest peak on the island. there was a line of red torii gates covering the trail that wound up the face of what turned out to be a small mountain and a pretty challenging climb. i reached to top in time to see a foggy, but cool sunrise! i hiked from peak to peak that morning and saw some great views of the islands that dot the inland sea. i packed out and ferried back in time for a very long day at work..
i've taken my weekend to catch up on grocery shopping and laundry and things. too much go, go, go. i've fallen behind in my blogging and i'm all adventured out. i'm glad i went before winter really set it though. i'll go back in the summer and i'll try and check out all the other villas.
sunrise from an observation point on shiraishi island:
tuesday's a national holiday? cool! i couldn't very well let my unexpected holiday go to waste, so i packed an overnight bag and headed out to one of okayama's international villas! i took a train to a the tiny town of kasaoka and boarded a ferry for shiraishi island! the sun was setting, so i didn't see much that night. i checked in to the villa and it turns out i would have the whole place to myself. it was big and clean and nice!
i stayed in the japanese style room and did lots of japanese things! i wore a little blue robe around and took a long bath. then i made my bed on the floor and read a book under the kotatsu quilt!
sunset from the ferry to shiraishi island:
i stayed in the japanese style room and did lots of japanese things! i wore a little blue robe around and took a long bath. then i made my bed on the floor and read a book under the kotatsu quilt!
sunset from the ferry to shiraishi island:
Friday, November 19, 2004
Sunday, November 14, 2004
cooking class?! hell yeah, sign me up!
everything at the grocery store is completely foreign to me. well, not completely - i mean, i know what's an octopus and what's a freeze-dried crab, but that doesn't mean i know how to go about preparing them for consumption (other than chopping them up and serving them raw over a small hand-packed piece of rice with wasabi). anyway, i've been sticking to the precooked and instant stuff and enjoying it. but until i saw the posting for the cooking class at the international center, i wasn't sure how i would ever begin cooking for myself. suppose i had pots and pans (or plates for that matter..) - if i wanted to use them, where would i begin? lucky for me japanese cooking is just like any other cooking - take food, make it hot, flavor to taste. the trick here is knowing what to use to recreate those authentic flavors found at all the incredible restaurants i've visited!
most of the class consisted of learning how to cut the fruits and vegetables so that the final product would be attractive (i've finally found a semi-practical function for my pumpkin carving skills). we made salt-grilled pacific saury (little fishes), assorted boiled foods (that was hard..), and miso soup. there was no real trick to it, but i learned a lot about the typical ingredients and how to make some home cook'n japanese style! i had a fun time, met some cool people, and ate like a king!
everything at the grocery store is completely foreign to me. well, not completely - i mean, i know what's an octopus and what's a freeze-dried crab, but that doesn't mean i know how to go about preparing them for consumption (other than chopping them up and serving them raw over a small hand-packed piece of rice with wasabi). anyway, i've been sticking to the precooked and instant stuff and enjoying it. but until i saw the posting for the cooking class at the international center, i wasn't sure how i would ever begin cooking for myself. suppose i had pots and pans (or plates for that matter..) - if i wanted to use them, where would i begin? lucky for me japanese cooking is just like any other cooking - take food, make it hot, flavor to taste. the trick here is knowing what to use to recreate those authentic flavors found at all the incredible restaurants i've visited!
most of the class consisted of learning how to cut the fruits and vegetables so that the final product would be attractive (i've finally found a semi-practical function for my pumpkin carving skills). we made salt-grilled pacific saury (little fishes), assorted boiled foods (that was hard..), and miso soup. there was no real trick to it, but i learned a lot about the typical ingredients and how to make some home cook'n japanese style! i had a fun time, met some cool people, and ate like a king!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
green! here is the fabulous Korakuen! i've got to get an unlimited pass to this garden and go there all the time! check out this crazy great website for better pictures than mine! (click the kanji on the far right for pictures from all four seasons. more information in english can be found on the other links there)
http://www.city.okayama.okayama.jp/museum/korakuen-shiki/main/top.htm
http://www.city.okayama.okayama.jp/museum/korakuen-shiki/main/top.htm
you know, for a country that makes some completely wicked motorcycles, japan can't make a bicycle to save it's life.. it's true - this bike sucks. the pick up is lousy, the handling is lousy, the suspensions is non-existent, and the center of the turning radius is right below the handlebars even at it's lousy top end. it only has one gear and someone set it to lousy.
every other bike in the country is exactly like this one too - it's like a communist ration bicycle or something. they all have the basket on the front and the rack on the back (that's where you put your wife). they all have the same little light with wheel generator and the same little bell.
i think that they have been government regulated to suck so that people will fear and respect them and give them the proper right of way - that is, the get-the-hell-out-of-the way. still after all the sucking this bike does, it has greatly improved my mobility. bikes here go everywhere. the sidewalk, the street, the subway, the mall. some even fold in half and go in the closet.
everywhere i go, people are riding their bicycles. Sometimes they talk on their cell phones. sometimes it rains and they carry an umbrellas AND they talk on their cell phones. the men wear their suites and their ties and carry their brief cases on their bicycles. the women wear their heels and their skirts and go shopping for their name brand clothes on their bicycles. old people on bicycles go slow. *ring *ring! young people on bicycles go fast! *whoosh! babies on bicycles sit in the baskets. dogs on bicycles sit with the babies. *woof! a little lady on a big bicycle - go lady, go! a big man on a little bicycle - go man, go! a girl in a school uniform sits on the front of her boyfriend's bicycle. a girl with platform shoes stands on the back of her boyfriend's bicycle. go girls, go! go, boyfriends, go! 2 people on a bicycle having tea. 3 people on a bicycle having sake. where are they going? they are going fast! they are going to that train station over there.. what's happening at that train station over there? why, it's a bicycle party! a BIG bicycle party! a big bicycle party with sake and tea! look at all the people on their bicycles. aren't they happy?
every other bike in the country is exactly like this one too - it's like a communist ration bicycle or something. they all have the basket on the front and the rack on the back (that's where you put your wife). they all have the same little light with wheel generator and the same little bell.
i think that they have been government regulated to suck so that people will fear and respect them and give them the proper right of way - that is, the get-the-hell-out-of-the way. still after all the sucking this bike does, it has greatly improved my mobility. bikes here go everywhere. the sidewalk, the street, the subway, the mall. some even fold in half and go in the closet.
everywhere i go, people are riding their bicycles. Sometimes they talk on their cell phones. sometimes it rains and they carry an umbrellas AND they talk on their cell phones. the men wear their suites and their ties and carry their brief cases on their bicycles. the women wear their heels and their skirts and go shopping for their name brand clothes on their bicycles. old people on bicycles go slow. *ring *ring! young people on bicycles go fast! *whoosh! babies on bicycles sit in the baskets. dogs on bicycles sit with the babies. *woof! a little lady on a big bicycle - go lady, go! a big man on a little bicycle - go man, go! a girl in a school uniform sits on the front of her boyfriend's bicycle. a girl with platform shoes stands on the back of her boyfriend's bicycle. go girls, go! go, boyfriends, go! 2 people on a bicycle having tea. 3 people on a bicycle having sake. where are they going? they are going fast! they are going to that train station over there.. what's happening at that train station over there? why, it's a bicycle party! a BIG bicycle party! a big bicycle party with sake and tea! look at all the people on their bicycles. aren't they happy?
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
here's a shot of my new bed (just delivered this morning). it's so poochie and soft, dude! i'm going to sleep so well tonight.. let's have a quick show of comments: who would sleep on top and who would sleep in the cubby and why?
in other kick ass news, i got a second hand bicycle! it's totally granny-powered and basket-ed.. pictures coming.. i will brace for your laughter.
in other kick ass news, i got a second hand bicycle! it's totally granny-powered and basket-ed.. pictures coming.. i will brace for your laughter.
here's something you won't see in osaka - trees! we've got real parking lots here too, though they are still small by american standards. i've been doing most of my wandering around at night because i don't get out of work until about 9:00. tonight i hung around with my pal iz from my training group after work. she's got the privilege of subbing in okayama with me all week. we got some curb-side sake from the seven eleven and some fucking awesome ramen. tomorrow we're getting up early to check out the karaku-en (kick ass garden), weather permitting, oh course.
Monday, November 08, 2004
my first day of school!
.. was exhausting!! i taught 4 double free time lessons (80 min.) to 2 students each. a pretty standard day at okayama ecc, but a wild ride for me! it's clear that at this point the students are far more familiar with the procedures than i am.. every time i took creative license with the very standardized lessons, i would get a few sideways glances and small utterances of the japanese equivalent of "what the fuck did he just say?"
i showed up this morning about 2 hours early and beat everyone in! i met my director by accident (who would have thought she would be a young attractive girl named suki? "director" just sounds so angela lansbury to me..) it turns out there is only one other staff member besides her. they are both very nice and i can tell they run that school like a well oiled machine!
about half way through the day a very tall and very sharp tia carrere look-alike rolled in rawking knee-high boots and carrying a motorcycle helmet. she wore an ipod on her belt (which was the style at the time). the stopped and rolled her hips to give the camera a few seconds to pan up and the flash bulbs to pop before she tossed her hair and took off her sunglasses - slide guitar. she cursed in japanese and dropped her helmet on the counter. the now three japanese women laughed and chatted about in bird-like fashion before she shoved me a hand and a smile and introduced herself in perfect english. "hey, i'm Lola. i'm the other english teacher!" yikes. she teaches beginning students (adults) in the carpeted room. they leave a neat row of knee high boots just outside the door.
after work i ate and drank at a yakitori in downtown okayama. i had some fried wontons and rice and miso with muscles. i sat at the bar and the guys behind the counter were yelling a lot enjoying themselves! i got to use all the japanese i know and learned a little more.
i do it all again tomorrow! i think one of my pals from my training group is coming out to okayama to sub for a few days so we'll hang out and eat! i’ll take some food pictures for you guys!
i showed up this morning about 2 hours early and beat everyone in! i met my director by accident (who would have thought she would be a young attractive girl named suki? "director" just sounds so angela lansbury to me..) it turns out there is only one other staff member besides her. they are both very nice and i can tell they run that school like a well oiled machine!
about half way through the day a very tall and very sharp tia carrere look-alike rolled in rawking knee-high boots and carrying a motorcycle helmet. she wore an ipod on her belt (which was the style at the time). the stopped and rolled her hips to give the camera a few seconds to pan up and the flash bulbs to pop before she tossed her hair and took off her sunglasses - slide guitar. she cursed in japanese and dropped her helmet on the counter. the now three japanese women laughed and chatted about in bird-like fashion before she shoved me a hand and a smile and introduced herself in perfect english. "hey, i'm Lola. i'm the other english teacher!" yikes. she teaches beginning students (adults) in the carpeted room. they leave a neat row of knee high boots just outside the door.
after work i ate and drank at a yakitori in downtown okayama. i had some fried wontons and rice and miso with muscles. i sat at the bar and the guys behind the counter were yelling a lot enjoying themselves! i got to use all the japanese i know and learned a little more.
i do it all again tomorrow! i think one of my pals from my training group is coming out to okayama to sub for a few days so we'll hang out and eat! i’ll take some food pictures for you guys!
Saturday, November 06, 2004
here it comes - the shinkansen!! this fucker rolled in so damn fast i'm surprised i got a picture of it! i turned around to gather all my stuff (i have so much godamn stuff) and when i was all loaded up, the doors snapped shut! about 100 people had made the exchange successfully in about 45 seconds and i was left standing there on the platform like an idiot. lucky for me they run every 12 min. from osaka to okayama!
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
bike club: zero to hero
with the exception of the totally respectable guys in my training group crew, most of the western men i've met here are complete whores! that's not to say that they're not cool guys - it's just that sex has been re-set as their primary prerogative. now it's comes somewhere between breathing and eating/sleeping (this is where i keep coffee).
this special breed of sexual predator can often be seen riding their bicycles downtown with a girl sitting (and sometimes standing) on the little luggage rack on the back (a shockingly common mode of tandem transportation in japan). a frightening number of these bastards came to japan with the soul intention of performing demeaning sex acts on as many japanese women as possible. but the others were transformed by a concept i like to call "zero to hero". simply put, they were perfectly normal losers back home and when they came to japan they were instantly upgraded to rockstar!! (i'm immune to such foolishness because i've always had the blind self confidence of a rockstar). their new-found glory goes straight to their head and they selfishly abuse their new ability to sweep women of all descriptions right off their feet at the expense of their self respect and the equality of the fairer sex. they really believe that they are so special and charming that they can woo women without words. these men are a disgrace to all western kind and should be ashamed of themselves! however, it's not entirely their fault.
sex is the key word in osaka - downtown is jam packed with sex shows, hostess clubs, and love hotels. the women here dress in the shortest skirts and the highest heels you can imagine with hair and makeup to match! i can't go so far as to say that the japanese live without morals, but when it comes to sex, their ethics aren't exactly Judeo-Christian. most guys forget everything their moma' ever taught them with a shrug - "when in rome.." they'll say, as if the supposedly wise saying excuses them from thinking for themselves.
i spent some time in a british pub this weekend, hoping to meet some english-speaking western and japanese people (ok, girls). but it turns out that popular gaijin bars are just swinger's joints - every one is there to hook up. i had to dodge the advances of a cute but somewhat older and somewhat married woman out looking for a new "english teacher" for the night. eek! when they make it this easy it's no wonder so many western men turn to the dark side.
guys, with great power comes great responsibility. just because women throw themselves at you doen't mean you should catch them! you would be more skeptical of a pizza you found in the street (how did this pizza get here? who's pizza is this? why does this pizza like me so much anyway? and how many other random people has this pizza had sex with?). see, even in their most objectified state, easy women should be met with the proper caution (or at least skepticism)!
but if one decent guy passes a girl by for their mutual benefit and the embetterment of mankind, another will certainly scoop her up and tie her to the back of his bicycle, short skirt, high heels and all.
this special breed of sexual predator can often be seen riding their bicycles downtown with a girl sitting (and sometimes standing) on the little luggage rack on the back (a shockingly common mode of tandem transportation in japan). a frightening number of these bastards came to japan with the soul intention of performing demeaning sex acts on as many japanese women as possible. but the others were transformed by a concept i like to call "zero to hero". simply put, they were perfectly normal losers back home and when they came to japan they were instantly upgraded to rockstar!! (i'm immune to such foolishness because i've always had the blind self confidence of a rockstar). their new-found glory goes straight to their head and they selfishly abuse their new ability to sweep women of all descriptions right off their feet at the expense of their self respect and the equality of the fairer sex. they really believe that they are so special and charming that they can woo women without words. these men are a disgrace to all western kind and should be ashamed of themselves! however, it's not entirely their fault.
sex is the key word in osaka - downtown is jam packed with sex shows, hostess clubs, and love hotels. the women here dress in the shortest skirts and the highest heels you can imagine with hair and makeup to match! i can't go so far as to say that the japanese live without morals, but when it comes to sex, their ethics aren't exactly Judeo-Christian. most guys forget everything their moma' ever taught them with a shrug - "when in rome.." they'll say, as if the supposedly wise saying excuses them from thinking for themselves.
i spent some time in a british pub this weekend, hoping to meet some english-speaking western and japanese people (ok, girls). but it turns out that popular gaijin bars are just swinger's joints - every one is there to hook up. i had to dodge the advances of a cute but somewhat older and somewhat married woman out looking for a new "english teacher" for the night. eek! when they make it this easy it's no wonder so many western men turn to the dark side.
guys, with great power comes great responsibility. just because women throw themselves at you doen't mean you should catch them! you would be more skeptical of a pizza you found in the street (how did this pizza get here? who's pizza is this? why does this pizza like me so much anyway? and how many other random people has this pizza had sex with?). see, even in their most objectified state, easy women should be met with the proper caution (or at least skepticism)!
but if one decent guy passes a girl by for their mutual benefit and the embetterment of mankind, another will certainly scoop her up and tie her to the back of his bicycle, short skirt, high heels and all.
hotties: mia and mariko showed me around Umeda and Kansi University! i met mariko when our airplane got typhooned to tokyo for a night. she was coming back to japan from a year of studying in St. Louis and her english is awesome! her university had a huge festival and all the students were out showing off their culinary skills for about $1 each! there were also some pretty talented rock bands sharing a stage in the center of campus. kick ass!!
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