bike club: zero to hero

with the exception of the totally respectable guys in my training group crew, most of the western men i've met here are complete whores! that's not to say that they're not cool guys - it's just that sex has been re-set as their primary prerogative. now it's comes somewhere between breathing and eating/sleeping (this is where i keep coffee).

this special breed of sexual predator can often be seen riding their bicycles downtown with a girl sitting (and sometimes standing) on the little luggage rack on the back (a shockingly common mode of tandem transportation in japan). a frightening number of these bastards came to japan with the soul intention of performing demeaning sex acts on as many japanese women as possible. but the others were transformed by a concept i like to call "zero to hero". simply put, they were perfectly normal losers back home and when they came to japan they were instantly upgraded to rockstar!! (i'm immune to such foolishness because i've always had the blind self confidence of a rockstar). their new-found glory goes straight to their head and they selfishly abuse their new ability to sweep women of all descriptions right off their feet at the expense of their self respect and the equality of the fairer sex. they really believe that they are so special and charming that they can woo women without words. these men are a disgrace to all western kind and should be ashamed of themselves! however, it's not entirely their fault.

sex is the key word in osaka - downtown is jam packed with sex shows, hostess clubs, and love hotels. the women here dress in the shortest skirts and the highest heels you can imagine with hair and makeup to match! i can't go so far as to say that the japanese live without morals, but when it comes to sex, their ethics aren't exactly Judeo-Christian. most guys forget everything their moma' ever taught them with a shrug - "when in rome.." they'll say, as if the supposedly wise saying excuses them from thinking for themselves.

i spent some time in a british pub this weekend, hoping to meet some english-speaking western and japanese people (ok, girls). but it turns out that popular gaijin bars are just swinger's joints - every one is there to hook up. i had to dodge the advances of a cute but somewhat older and somewhat married woman out looking for a new "english teacher" for the night. eek! when they make it this easy it's no wonder so many western men turn to the dark side.

guys, with great power comes great responsibility. just because women throw themselves at you doen't mean you should catch them! you would be more skeptical of a pizza you found in the street (how did this pizza get here? who's pizza is this? why does this pizza like me so much anyway? and how many other random people has this pizza had sex with?). see, even in their most objectified state, easy women should be met with the proper caution (or at least skepticism)!

but if one decent guy passes a girl by for their mutual benefit and the embetterment of mankind, another will certainly scoop her up and tie her to the back of his bicycle, short skirt, high heels and all.